


Damaged

by Rawrlove19



Category: Janoskians
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: When the worst happens to Luke Brooks, how will his family cope? Especially with the prospect of him never recovering....This could quite possibly make you cry...





	1. Chapter 1

When Beau and I got the call, we were terrified to say the least. Luke was in the hospital. He had gotten hit head on by another car that was speeding and The other driver had died on impact. They didn't expect Luke to make it.

I was a nervous wreck and had no idea how to handle it if Luke died. He was my twin brother. My other half. Beau just guided me into his jeep and hurriedly drove to the hospital. I could tell that Beau was scared too, though. His hands were tightly gripping the steering wheel as he drove well over the speed limit to the hospital. He always freaked out when small things happened to Luke and I, so this had to be killing him.

When we were finally at the hospital and allowed to see Luke, I felt my heart break at the sight. There was my older twin. My older brother. Just lying brokenly and unmoving on the stiff hospital bed. I let out a sob as Beau put an arm around my shoulders in a silent form of comfort for both of us. I had to hold it back, however, when the doctor walked in with a grim expression on his face.

"I wish I had better news, but Luke is in a coma." The doctor started.

"When will he wake up?" I choked out, interrupting him. Beau shushed me so we could listen to the doctor.

"That's up to him. He may never wake up, but if he does we suspect severe brain trauma so he probably wouldn't be the same person you remember. I'm sorry boys. As I said, I wish I had better news." He explained, patting me on the shoulder before leaving the room. I buried my face in Beau's shoulder, suddenly needing all of the comfort I could get from my oldest brother.

"It's okay Jai." Beau whispered, trying to hold back his own tears. "Luke, wouldn't want us to cry over him. He'd want us to be strong. Do you think you could do that for him?"

"Not today..." I took a shudders breathe. "Today I just need my Lukey back."

"Maybe we will. There's no guarantee on what will happen. It's like the doctor said, they don't know what will happen. They can only make assumptions."

I nodded my head at Beau. He was right. Luke could make it, but the chances of that happening were slim to none. I let go of Beau and made my way over to my twin brother. I had always heard stories about people being able to hear you inside of a coma, but honestly I just wanted to talk to him. 

"Hey Lukey," My voice broke, "I know you probably can't hear me, but I just need to tell you one last time how much I love you. You're my other half and I don't think I can make it without you by my side. So, you have to wake up. It was supposed to be Luke and Jai forever, right? I've never forgotten about that promise, and I hope you wake up so it won't be broken. Everything is better with you there, Luke. You need to wake up...Please..." I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Beau biting his lip and staring at me.

"Jai, he's in a coma. He's not going to wake up just like that. I need you to realize that." Beau spoke slowly, almost like he was trying to calm down a wild animal. "I need you to sit down and breathe. As long as that heart monitor is still going, that means Luke has a chance. So, do all of us a favor and calm down."

"I can't!" I yelled. "He may be your brother, but he's my twin! That's a big difference, Beau. You just don't understand, and you never have."

"Just because you two are twins doesn't mean that I'm less of a brother." Beau stated monotonously. He had used this same line on me countless times. He had said it to Luke even more. We had always been really close, and Beau often felt left out because of that. He just didn't understand. For a long time, Luke and I only had each other. When our dad left, our Mum was too busy for us and Beau was set in becoming the man of the house and couldn't take the time to play silly games with his bratty little brothers. I realize now that they were simply dealing with our father's abandonment in their own ways. Luke and I couldn't do that, though. We stuck together through everything, no matter how bad things got.

"No, but Luke's always been there for me when you weren't." I said before I could stop myself. Beau looked like I had slapped him across the face. Which, I might as well have. What I said to him was a low blow, and we both knew it. 

"I have to go call Mum..." Beau wouldn't make eye contact with me, and I could tell he wanted nothing more than to cry. He wouldn't cry in front of me, though. I was his baby brother, and no matter how much I hurt him, he refused to break down in front of me. He left Luke and I alone, and that's when I really took in Luke's condition.

Luke was pale. His skin had seemingly lost its healthy glow in the mere hours he had spent in the hospital. He had cuts and bruises all over his face and what I could see of his body. His arm was in a cast and supported by a sling. They had apparently had to do surgery on his arm because of the type of fracture he had received from the crash. Most of all though, Luke didn't look like Luke. I was used to him looking strong and knowing all of the answers. Now, though, Luke looked broken and like a shell of what he used to be.


	2. Chapter 2

"Luke woke up." I was woken by my oldest brother with the best news I've heard in awhile.

2 months. That's how long Luke has been in a coma. During that time, I've felt like I've lost myself. Luke and I have never really been apart longer than a few days to a week at a time, so this was really taking its toll on me. I was just happy that my twin brother was finally awake.

-  
"Luke!" I couldn't help but scream when I finally saw my twin brother sitting up in his hospital bed. There was a doctor in the room doing routine checks, but he turned and glared at me when I walked in.

"I take it that you two are Luke's brothers." He stated, and it was only then that I noticed Beau standing behind me. 

"Sorry about my little brother." Beau apologized, placing his hands on my shoulders. "It's just they're twins and they've never really been apart for this long before."

"I'm not blind, Mr. Brooks. I can obviously tell by their faces." The doctor scoffed. "Anyways, do you care if we step out of the room for a moment? I need to tell you the extent of your brother's injuries."

"Sure thing, doc!" Beau smiled, before turning to me. "Jai, why don't you go say hi to Luke. We'll just be a second."

I nodded my head becor e walking up to my twin brother at last. He had a goofy grin on his face and his eyes had a far away look in them. I chuckled at the sight. I was just so happy that he was okay. I sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

"Jai-Jai!" Luke screeched, before wrapping me up in a tight hug. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you!" My twin brother scolded me, confusing me slightly.

"What do you mean Lukey? I'm the one who should be worried. You've been in a coma for two months." I explained slowly. Luke frowned and shook his head at me.

"That's not a very funny joke, Jai." He huffed. I was confused. There was just something about Luke that seemed...off.

"Not joking. Trust me. I don't know how I even survived that long without you there to keep me out of trouble." I laughed. I looked at Luke only to realize he wasn't paying attention to me at all. Suddenly, he turned to me with a question that honestly scared me.

"Jai, I don't know where I am..." Luke started to cry slightly and several of the machines he was connected to started to beep wildly. I reached down and pressed the button to call a nurse as Luke fell backwards and started having what looked like a possible seizure. I was frozen in shock as doctors and nurses flooded into the room. I felt someone pull me back, but I was too scared to even comprehend what was going on.

"Jai, you need to calm down." I heard Beau's voice order. I hadn't even realized I was hyperventilating until he had said something to me about it.

"Beau! Beau, what's happening? Is Luke going to be okay? Am I going to lose my twin brother again?" I rushed out as my eyes filled with tears.

"Luke's going to be fine, Jai. I promise." Beau paused and chewed on his lip for a second. "I didn't want to tell you this soon, but Luke has brain damage. There's an 80% chance that it's permanent, but-"

"Brain damage!" I cut Beau off. "What do you mean brain damage?"

"They're not sure exactly what his brain is doing, but they think it's either an extremely rare form of frontal lobe damage where his ability to reason and connect basic information together is compromised or...." Beau trailed off. 

"What's the or, Beau?" I was beyond terrified at his unspoken words.

"Total mental retardation from the damage his brain received. He could never be the person you remember ever again."

 

"So I've basically lost Luke forever..." I trailed off. Beau wrapped me up in a hug and pressed a kiss into my cheek, trying to comfort me. He just wasn't Luke, though. 

"No, there's still hope, but it's up to Luke to decide if he wants to get better or not. At least that's how the doctor explained Luke's chances of recovering if it's the first thing."

"How likely is it that it is the first thing?" I asked out of hopeful curiosity.

"About 2%..." Beau whispered. I felt a fresh wave of tears hit me. There was a 98% chance that I was never getting my brother back. "Actually there's a 20% chance he has that and then an 18% that he'll never recover if it is that one."

I knew that Beau was only trying to cheer me up, but he was only making things worse.

I needed my Lukey back...


	3. Chapter 3

The ride hone from the hospital was silent, to say the least. I couldn't even look at Luke without tears springing to mt eyes and Beau was trying his hardest to comfort me despite the situation that we were in. I needed my twin brother. Without him, I wasn't me.

"So, where are we going, Beau-zo?" Luke asked suddenly, making Beau and I glance at him worriedly.

"What did you just call me?" Beau asked. 

"Answer the question!" Luke demanded, his short temper seeming to be even shorter than usual.

"We're going home, Lukey." I answered for Beau. He was in shock, apparently and I really couldn't blame him. Beau-zo was the name Luke and I called him when we were about 4 years old. In fact, I don't think either of us has called him that since we were 6. It was only normal for Beau to be shocked.

"Okay, Jai Jai!" Luke giggled. I had to squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from escaping. I couldn't cry. Luke had it worse than I did right now, even though it didn't feel like it. 

"It'll be okay, Jai." Beau promised, patting my knee reassuringly. I could only nod mutely as the car lapsed into silence (if you didn't count likes aimless humming) the rest of the way home. 

"Come on, Luke. Time to get out of the car!" I tried to appear enthusiastic for my twin brother, but honestly I was only fooling myself. There was nothing good about this situation. 

"Hey, this place looks familiar." Luke's eyes widened in recognition. 

"Yes, Luke. This is our house." I explained, biting back a sob. "Let's hurry inside, you must be exhausted."

"Whatever you say Jai!" Luke winked at me sassily. He was still Luke yet he was so much different at the same time. I hated it. 

I opened Luke's door and helped him out of the car. Beau went ahead of us to open the door. Luke squeezed my hand in response. It was almost like he was reassuring me about something, but I wasn't sure why. I just wanted my older twin back.

"My goodness, Luke!" The high-pitched sound of our mother's voice rang out as we stepped inside. Luke immediately started to scream and cover his ears in response. He would have ran away too if it wasn't for the fact that I had a tight grip around his waist.

"Luke. Luke, it's okay. That was just Mum. Please, just calm down." I spoke into his ear soothingly as I restrained him. Luke seemed to snap out of whatever it was that had made him act like this, and he sunk against my chest lazily. I hurriedly took him up to his room and made sure he fell asleep before joining Beau and my mother downstairs.

"I was trying to explain to Mum about Luke." Beau supplied as I sat down next to my mother on the couch.

"You only told me he had minor brain damage." My mother stated, giving Beau a tiny glare.

"That's what we thought!" Beau defended himself. "I never expected that to ever happen."

"It did, though." I sighed in frustration. "He may look like me, but that's not my twin brother. At least not anymore."

"Jai, it'll be alright. The doctor said there was a chance of him getting better, right?" My Mum tried to reason with me. I heaved another sigh and slumped against her shoulder in defeat. 

"No, it won't be okay!" I raised my voice. "It won't ever be okay again. I just lost my twin all over again. He was my other half. I don't know how this would possibly be okay..."

"Simple. Don't lose hope." I looked up at my oldest brother in surprise. His voice had held a grim tone to it. It was the same tone he used when he was trying to act strong in front of Luke and I when he was about to hit his breaking point. I nodded my head at him and looked away.

The doctor had said that Luke could recover, but he had also said that it was highly unlikely. His odds weren't good at all. It's funny how you can call someone retarded as a joke, but then when it actually happens, it's not funny at all. You feel like your world is falling apart because the truth is, mental retardation is the last thing you wanted someone else to suffer with. 

I had always relied on Luke to be my voice of reason. The person who could tell me when I was being stupid or utterly ridiculous. Luke kept me Sane when nothing else could. 

I needed my Lukey, but now I couldn't rely on him when I needed him most.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jai-Jai, wake up!" 

Apparently someone decided it was a good idea to shake me awake this morning, and judging by that voice, it just happened to be Luke. I groaned and rolled over to face away from my annoying twin brother. I just needed another good 20 minutes and everything would be okay. I would be able to start the day and everything would be peachy.

Yeah right.

That wasn't happening anytime soon just like how nothing is ever going to be peachy ever again. Luke wasn't Luke anymore and no one could fix that. My older brother now hod the mind of a six year old at best and I didn't know how that could possibly be okay.

"What do you want, Luke?" I groaned as he started to shake me again. I heard a small whimper of protest from behind me and sighed as I forced myself to turn around and face him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared." He replied simply. I felt like the vein in my head was about to burst. The old Luke almost never got scared, so what was I supposed to do? This wasn't my job. I wasn't the baby brother. I was the youngest, even if it was just by two minutes. I was so used to Luke and Beau taking care of me all of the time that I didn't know how to react.

"Just go back to sleep, Luke." I replied with another sigh. Luke shook his head in refusal at my suggestion. It was obvious that he hadn't lost his stubbornness with everything else he lost.

"Can I sleep with you?" He asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. I had to roll my eyes. I was the one who taught him that look. It wasn't going to work on me. Not now. Not ever.

"No, go sleep with Beau!" I snapped. Luke flinched back in response and scurried out of the room. Yet another thing to go wrong. My twin shouldn't flinch away from me of all people. That wasn't like him. 

-

"Jai, can you please make Luke some lunch?" My Mum asked me tired later That day. 

"Sure, Mum. I'd love to." I mumbled sarcastically before setting to work and making him a sandwich.

"Jai," she sighed. "I know this is really hurting you, but you need to be patient with Luke he's still your twin brother even if he's injured."

"That's just it, Mum!" I couldn't help but to snap. "He's not just injured! He's retarded and nothing is going to fix that! As far as I'm concerned, my twin brother died in that accident."

"Jai, that's just rude and inconsiderate and...Luke!" My Mum started to scold me but trailed off. I turned to see what she was looking at only to find Luke standing there with tears in his eyes.

"Jai doesn't love me anymore?" He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. 

"Sweatheart, of course Jai loves you. He's just having a rough time right now." Mum consoled, giving him a small hug.

"Jai is sad..." Luke stated like he was trying to let it soak in completely. Then, his mouth formed a goofy smile as he stepped forward to give me a hug. I just let it happen even though I did not want him hugging me.

"It's okay Jai, I'll protect you!" Luke promised. Anger took over me as I jerked away from him and stormed out of the room.

This wasn't right. As far as I was concerned, that wasn't Luke. I honestly don't even know how they can just treat him like he's the same. He's not the same. He's not my brother. Not anymore.

-

As I walked towards the kitchen for dinner that night, I heard talking. It was Beau and Mum. And from the sounds of it they were discussing someone. Me.

"I just don't understand why he's treating Luke like this." Mum sighed.

"I know, but he's just going through a lot. You saw him when Luke was in the coma. It was like I had lost both my brothers at the same time." Beau tried to console her.

"Still it's one thing to grieve and another to suddenly hate your twin brother. I'm worried. That's not normal. Just, I don't know, try talking to him while I take Luke out tomorrow."

"What and have him blow up at me? No thank you!"

"Please, Beau! Do it for me." 

"Fine."

I decided to skip dinner and ran to my room in shock. Of course I'm the bad guy. Never Luke. Luke's never coming back and they need to accept that. Just like I have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok just to sum this part up. Jai's grieving/ in denial (sort of) so he's lashing out at everyone but mainly Luke. He seems like a jerk right now, but that's only because he's having trouble dealing with their situation.


	5. Chapter 5

Alone. That's how I truly felt for the first time in my entire life. Luke and I had been a package deal from conception and now we were so far apart that I had no one. Beau and my Mum were too busy coddling Luke to even care about how I was feeling. They just summed it up to me being the usual jerk I always am.

Luke was the only one who understood me. He was the only one who knew how much I struggled everyday just trying to be happy and to make everyone love me again, but all of my struggles were for nothing now. If I didn't have Luke in my side then I couldn't do anything. I was a failure without my twin brother.

I could only think back to those bad habits I had kicked to the curve a few years ago. I didn't want to be that person again, but I could slowly feel myself starting to slip already. It was only a matter of time before I fell completely.

-

"-ai, earth to Jai! Come on, Jai!" I suddenly noticed Beau standing in front of me, snapping his fingers in my face. He had apparently been trying to get my attention, not that I noticed.

"What is it Beau?" I asked my oldest brother curiously. Beau looked at me skeptically and I almost couldn't resist my urge to roll my eyes at him.

"Seriously, Jai?" He scoffed. "You didn't hear any of what I just said to you?"

"I'm sorry, I was thinking and didn't even know you were in the room." I explained honestly. Beau was silent for a long moment, likely piecing together bits and pieces of my behavior he's actually noticed lately and trying to for, some explanation for it in his head.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Luke." I could see a look of hurt flash across my brothers face, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. I knew for a fact that Beau thought I was nothing more than a selfish jerk, so it was likely that's what he was thinking right now.

"Jai, you need to try to be nice to Luke. He still loves you even if he's a bit slower now." Beau lectured. I let out a dark chuckle. That's what Beau thought this was about? I was mad about Luke being a bit slower?

"Have you ever stopped to consider how I feel about what happened?" I asked seriously. I could feel my heart beating in anticipation for his answer even though I already knew what it would be.

"Really Jai!" Beau started to raise his voice. "When are you going to realize that not everything is about you?!"

I felt a rear roll down my face in response, even though I knew that was what was coming. Luke was the only person that actually cared about me, but he was gone now. He was gone and he was never coming back. It was too late for him.

"Beau, I didn't just lose my twin. I lost a part of myself, too. Luke's the only one I could really trust and now I can't relax on him. The only person I can trust is myself."

"Wow, that hurts, Jai. Luke's not your only brother, you do realize that, right?" Beau rolled his eyes and left on that note. He didn't get it just like I had predicted. I couldn't trust Beau with my secrets, no matter how much I really wanted to.

-

"Jai-Jai!" Luke screamed, tackling me in a hug once my Mum and him got back home. I just sat there, not moving. I couldn't hug someone who wasn't my brother, but at the same time I needed a hug from Luke. Beau had shown me just how alone I truly was and now I didn't know how to go forward from that.

At this point I didn't care that Luke wasn't Luke anymore. I needed him now more than ever before. I slowly wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his shoulder before finally letting my tears fall.

Luke squeezed the life out of me once he realized I was crying, and my son's gradually got louder and louder until finally my Mum and Beau ran into the room likely thinking it was Luke crying instead of me.

"Jai, what do you think you're doing?!" Mum yelled as she ran into the room. I immediately removed myself from Luke's shoulder, and it was only then that she realized her mistake. 

"I'll just go to my room then." I said quietly, not able to meet anyone's eyes.

"Jai, if this about before then you're obviously overreacting." Beau laughed. Luke flinched when he said that which definitely caught everyone's attention.

"You were mean to Jai?" Luke questioned before launching himself at Beau in a fit of rage. "Apologize right now! You don't ever be mean to Jai, got it?"

"Well, at least he still has his temper..." I couldn't help but laugh despite the current situation.


End file.
